How to Announce Your Intimate Wedding to Your Community
We’re looking at you, 2021, and we like what we’re seeing. We have two rounds of viable vaccines coming down the pipe. We have national leaders thinking critically about how to organize a pandemic response at the federal level come January. And while we won’t hold our breath for the return of bangers* in 2021, we are hopeful for the vaccinations in development, a measure of reliability and predictability, and the growing size of celebrations in 2021. We have big wedding hopes for the future, but some couples are opting for the safety of an intimate wedding moving into 2021, and we want to support them in communicating that effectively.
*Feel free to cite the Parks + Rec reference here ;).
INTIMATE WEDDING ETIQUETTE.
If you’re in the camp that is evolving your larger celebration and embracing a more intimate format while all the pandemic relief goodness brews, then we want to help! We know it can be tricky to introduce the idea of an intimate-celebration-while-you-wait to the community that may already know about your big plans. You may have announced your large wedding before or in the earlier months of the pandemic and it may feel so awkward to pursue a new format without keying your community into the change of plans (for now). But how do you tell someone about the new format and indicate that they are kindly not invited?
You want to be explicit about who is and is not invited so that there are no crossed hairs between your social bubbles. You want to ensure that you adhere to gathering guidelines based on your state’s regulations. You want to make it clear that there is no love lost and that they will indeed be the first to know once the big kahuna is on and poppin’ again. We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but Emily Post has nothing helpful to say on the matter. ;)
Navigating pandemic-related wedding awkwardness has become nearly second nature for us. In most cases, being clear and kind with your communication will win the day. We know that words don’t come easily to everyone (and that you may have communication fatigue around your wedding), so let us lean in and help you both. Below is our favorite template for communicating the above sentiments to your community in an explicit and honorable way.
THE TEMPLATE.
Subject: WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!
As many of you know, we’ve been engaged since [MONTH + YEAR] and have been enthusiastically planning a wedding celebration for 2021.
Amidst the madness of the times, a river of questions about the future, a global pandemic, and health concerns of our vulnerable family members, we’ve adjusted our plans and decided to do a tiny, impromptu wedding with our immediate families in [LOCATION + DATE]. We are considering this a prelude for the real party/big celebration with all the people we love.
It is weird to get married without inviting our closest friends or extended family, and it makes our hearts sink, but we want to let you know that we are thinking of you as we plan our wedding and enter this next phase of life together. We look forward to connecting with all of you when humans can stand next to each other, hug, and celebrate the joys of life. Let that time come soon! We sincerely love and miss you and regret we can’t celebrate together at this time.
We feel incredibly fortunate to have so many amazing, supportive humans in our circle. You have each contributed to the intricate fabric of our love story, and we’re forever grateful. Stay happy, healthy, and well. We love you.
[NAMES]
Please feel free to use any and all language to send gratitude to your people, set boundaries around your intimate wedding, and continue to build excitement around your larger celebration. Bring your community along with you by continuing to share your relationship and your marriage journey with them.
— Kate, Tapestry Creative Director