Top Five Ways to Include Your Loved Ones in Your Wedding Day
We love living in the age where couples are creating their own modern definition of marriage. Rather than assuming the mantle of what marriage meant to generations past, we are deciding how to meaningfully deepen our partnerships and lifelong commitments to the one that holds our heart. With this intentional approach comes new ways of doing things at your marriage celebration. Rather than recycling yet another internet list of the same ideas, let’s talk about some new and fresh takes on how to include your loved ones in your modern wedding celebration.
CREATE MEANINGFUL RITUALS.
Invite distinguished guests to take part in a meaningful ritual.
If you are a couple infusing your day with intentional details and practices, bring attention to them by inviting others to participate. One of our October 2020 couples hosted a 30-person ceremony in their backyard. Before the ceremony, we passed out a custom essential oil blend to each guest that included ingredients selected by the bride and groom to represent their family values. The officiant invited guests to use the blend as part of the ceremony, infusing the space with the couple’s unique blueprint and sending the guests off with a favor that would re-invoke their special energy in the years following. If you have family practices that are distinct and meaningful, find a way to share those with your guests and invite their participation in the celebration.
Make the memory of those who have passed an active part of the celebration.
So often we see the memories of those passed take on a more passive role, sometimes hidden in the corner of a celebration and only noted by those who stumble upon the display. One of our May 2022 couples hosted a memorial table as part of their ceremony. There were photos of family members and, as each member of the bridal party walked up to the ceremony space, they lit a candle in front of each photo to invite the spirit of the passed family member to join the festivities. If you have significant relationships that have passed, find a way to draw attention to those relationships as part of the event and create a meaningful way of incorporating their memory.
Let your loved ones lead spiritual or energy-invoking practices.
We have so many examples from over the years of how friends or family offered small, cozy contributions to a larger celebration because the couple invited them to offer something they already practice in their lives. This has looked like a dear friend leading a meditation to transition from the getting ready period of the day to the ceremony preparation; a parent offering an opening prayer for a wedding ceremony; a loved one officiating the marriage ritual; or a distinguished member of the couple’s community saying grace before the reception meal. If you have a loved one who feels called to offer their energy and connection as part of their daily lives, they may be a great candidate to make a small contribution to your celebration to help ground your energy and unite the experience.
INCORPORATE FAMILY TRADITIONS.
Partner with your family to share elements of your heritage.
If you and your family or families strongly identify with your heritage, bring your traditions to the celebration. One of our February 2021 couples hailed from Norwegian heritage. Their father built a large outdoor campfire adjacent to their snowy ceremony space. After the father walked the bride down the aisle, he lit the fire and handed the axe he used to chop the wood on to her soon-to-be husband. The building of the fire was a Norwegian tradition and the passing of the axe symbolized the passing of trust between the two men to take care of the bride’s heart and home. If you have heritage that is meaningful to you, inviting your family members to invoke and honor that heritage is a great way of structuring their participation without risking appropriation of someone else’s culture.
Images courtesy of Lessie Blue Photography.
Ask a loved one to record or perform a special song.
We melted when the father of the bride approached us about a special father-daughter dance for one of our June 2022 events. The bride gave her father carte-blanche to connect with us on any surprises he had in mind for their dance together. The father knew he’d be a puddle of tears if he tried to sing a Sinatra song live, one that he often belted to in the kitchen with his daughter while making spaghetti dinners. So instead, he recorded himself singing the song with his friend’s band playing alongside him. We were able to facilitate that recording to the DJ and flawlessly integrate it into their event, infusing it with meaning and reducing EVERYONE to a puddle of tears instead. Of course, the song doesn’t have to land in the special dances portion of the night. It could be incorporated into the ceremony, grand entry or exit, or another sentimental portion of the evening.
We love hearing about the ways you include your families into your weddings and elopements. Please share with us any you have created, used from our list, or found from friends so we can share them with others! If you are speaking our language and are looking for more guidance like this on how to create a personalized ceremony, check out our Ceremony Writing Guide. That, along with our Vow Writing Workbook, is the summary of ALL we have learned about creating meaningful marriage ceremonies through Tapestry.